I presented our “Focusing on the Essential” material to the Raleigh ICF chapter (coaches) this week and had a great time creating new learning with this group of people. It was a super fun experience …

I usually start my sessions with folks by asking what they expect to get out of the conversation … I want people to have skin in the game with me. One person said she “wanted to know what I thought was essential”. I responded by saying I wanted to know what she and everyone else thought was Essential!

So I introduce people to the idea of the Essential by asking, “What does it look like, feel like (in your body), smell like or taste like when you are at your best?” People respond by putting one word or phrase on a yellow/gold piece of paper in the center of a circle, as many thoughts/paper as they’d like. This group generated a huge amount of information. My response to this person’s question: “What you see here is what’s Essential”.

Here’s what they wrote:

• Energy – Tingling, Radiating, Full of
• Magic
• Contributing
• Making a Difference
• Motivation
• Laughing
• Connecting with someone else
• Play
• Being real
• Exuberant
• Happy
• Full
• Easy/effortless
• Breezy
• Warmth in my heart and gut
• Open
• From within
• In flow
• So interesting!
• Joyful
• Juicy
• Satisfying
• Fun
• Whole
• Well-rested
• Grateful
• Smiling
• Clear
• Heartfelt
• Content
• Clear channel to my talents and strengths
• Sharing
• Sense of well-being
• Asking questions
• Fantastic
• Great
• A bright sky with the wind blowing through the apple blossoms
• Powerful
• Irresistible
• Dark chocolate
• Worthy
• Relaxed
• Glowing
• Exciting
• Natural
• Me
• Clicking
• Raw
• Productive
• Creative
• Shine
• Active
• Attracting others
• Full of possibilities
• Free
• Intuitive
• Energized and powerful like a mountain stream
• Spontaneous and joyful like a mockingbird’s song
• Amazing
• Light
• Light, weightless, and effervescent like a down comforter with 1000 thread count sheets
• Connected to center/core of self
• Calm
• Attentive
• Grounded
• Confident
• Sparkling
• Peaceful
• Jazzed

This list is very consistent with what I’ve seen group after group, individual after individual, over the last 5 years I’ve been working with the question of ‘what’s essential’ ~ equating it with being at your best.

My proposal is that nothing is more important that living from, being at, focusing on whatever  we individually define as ‘being at our best’.  It’s when we are the most happy and productive. It’s when we see things clearly. It’s when we know we are bigger than any problem we might encounter.

As we discussed this as a group, we reached a place of saying “this is so obvious!” Why, oh why then is ‘the essential’ not obvious to everyone? Why do so many people focus on other things (we like to call these things drama) that don’t lead to being happy and productive?

I have my own ideas about this, but I’d really like to see what you think. What words would you add this list of what it looks like to be at your best? And why is it, that people don’t make being at their best more of a priority?

Personally, I like to hang around people and businesses that make being at their best a priority. It’s more fun and brings out the best in me. Are you one of those kind of people?

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