What is Drama?
July 3rd, 2009 | 
Author: You’ve heard about drama haven’t you? Is the play or movie you’re going to see a drama or comedy? Or, how about the catchy phrase “save your drama for your mama” – a comment on our frustration with whiny people. Barack Obama made drama famous by asking people working on his campaign to skip the drama.
I like one of the Urban Dictionary’s definitions best: “making a big deal over something unnecessarily.”
I use the term ‘Drama’ to describe what it looks like when I’m not at my best. It’s a part of my Essence Map tool – a simple way of guiding myself and others in where we are in the process of waking up to the best of who we can be – ongoing.
Often Drama is perceived as negative. Whiny people are a pain. Who wants to be around someone going through a victim spiral? The Drama of miscommunication creates conflict. Drama in business can be very costly. Who has time or energy for it? Let’s be done with Drama!
And yet I want to encourage people to see the value in Drama. It’s entertaining (to some)! It provides opportunities for learning. It defines the edge of who we perceive ourselves to be. It offers territories of potential growth and new perspectives. Drama is cool!
So what’s the deal with Drama; is it good or is it bad? Neither!
Drama becomes problematic when we get stuck in it (think patterns of sabotage, dysfunction, addiction or victim behavior), when we use it to define our identity (I’m a worrier, busy, overwhelmed), or when we attribute our Drama to other people (how arrogant of you to ask what you want from me).
Drama becomes an opportunity when we can see ourselves as separate from it, when we use it as fuel for our creative energies, when we learn from it by transforming feeling bad about it into loving ourselves.
Making the distinction between Drama and our Essential Best or Essence becomes powerful when we use it to consciously choose where we focus our attention. Thus, one of our introductory workshops is “Focusing on the Essential“. We access our powerful selves (as in power with, not power over) when we focus on what is essential. We fall into being our small selves when we focus on Drama.
So I think one of the most important choices we can make, day after day, is whether to focus on our Essential Best or our Drama. Our focus determines how we feel (happy or sad), what we see (possibilities or limitations), what we know (wisdom or confusion), what we achieve (positive results or struggle).
Now I’m curious. What is Drama from your perspective? How do you make the best of Drama? How do you keep perspective? How do you leverage it? How does it entertain you? Or beleager you? (Is that a word, beleager?) You know – bring you down … I’d love to know!
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Understanding the concept of drama was so helpful to me. For me drama often obscures the real problem, but sometimes you just have to go through it to get to the real problem. Recognizing it, then, helps keep me from getting caught up in it and I realize that if I just keep swimming through the drama instead of getting mired in it, eventually I’ll get to the heart of the issue.
Vote:Thanks for sharing your thoughts Shannon! Maybe it really is as simple as being able to step back and see the drama rather than being in the drama (like a fish in water) where you can’t even see there is something to swim through. I know when I can see drama – I know it’s something I can move through – on to something better.
Which reminds me. I was with my family on vacation recently and the phrase ‘the grass is greener’ was used to describe decisions to fore go greener pastures and stay with situations that weren’t ideal but ‘paid the bills’. I appreciate the reasons people make these kinds of decisions. At the same time, what I want is to strive for something greener and swim through the drama that I encounter – that naturally comes as I move toward my ideals.
I see a whole other post on the ‘grass is greener’ idea!
Vote:[...] We use the Essence Map to talk about what is essential, and thus focusing on the essential versus focusing on drama. [...]
Vote:I want to share thoughts about Drama that came up during the delivery of our Essential Everyday Communications workshop this week. The organization we worked with has, in the past, attempted to use participative/shared leadership strategies to get work done – and has had mixed results. A reason for this emerged during the workshop – people felt like legitimate Drama that surfaced during these participative processes was suppressed/ignored. People were angry!
Think about situations where freedom of speech or access to information is restricted by controlling governments. What is the result? Pressure builds and then bursts – because the energy of people can not be held back. While not as extreme as a national dictatorship, this is the pattern that has emerged within this client organization.
I’m sharing this experience because I want to make sure people don’t misinterpret what we’re saying about Drama. We are NOT saying Drama is bad or should be suppressed when we encourage Focusing on the Essential. The more Drama is pushed away or denied, the more the energy of Drama builds. What we ARE suggesting is to get really, really good at using and learning from Drama so that the energy behind Drama can MOVE. By Focusing on the Essential we give Drama energy a positive direction to move toward – fueling the evolution of a healthy identity in the process.
A simple example: as I facilitate a workshop and I experience people as apathetic and disengaged, I become frustrated and disheartened. Then I use the Drama of frustration as guidance to tap into my passion for transformative learning, I remind myself to focus on the parts of people that want to learn and grow, the part beyond their mixed feelings and their identification with Drama (I am not a good communicator, for example). I focus on the Essential part of their identity that knows they have choices, the part of them beyond their apathy, the part of them that has something to say, and I move in that direction inviting their Drama to bubble up and clear as we go. In doing so, I lead the way for all workshop participants to use and learn from Drama and rediscover the best parts of themselves.
In the process I amplify the best of people, I disengage from patterns of limiting beliefs and behavior, and I welcome Drama as useful energy for learning and growth (NOT Drama as a wall for why things can’t be done). This is a powerful and exhilarating transformative process!
I hope this is helpful. Please add your thoughts or ask questions!
Vote: