When I first read the topic for this month’s newsletter, Caring for Myself, I immediately thought of spa days, mani-pedis, Sunday afternoon naps, and long vacations. Although there’s certainly nothing wrong with those ways of taking care of myself, I believe that taking care of myself involves a lot more.

I recently had a conversation with someone who felt she really couldn’t have what she wanted because it would be too selfish. That got me to thinking, what is selfish? And what is the opposite of selfish? Naturally I went to the dictionary to look up the definition of the words. Here’s what I found:

Selfish. Devoted to or caring for only one’s self; concerned primarily with one’s own interests, benefits, welfare. We know these people – they are called narcissists. “Maria has been hoarding food for the past year, just in case something happens to the economy and she won’t have enough to eat.”

Selfless. Little or no concern for oneself. We know these people – they are called martyrs. “Antonio wouldn’t dare apply for a promotion. His boss really needs him to stay where he is because he is so valuable, so he’ll just stay put.”

Somewhere in between selfishness and selflessness is caring for ourselves, a glorious place where we get what we want and others get what they want as well. It’s a place of healing, growth, and love, starting with ourselves first.

What happens when we don’t care for ourselves and only give of ourselves? Depression, addiction, despair, anger, sadness, emptiness, negativity, and fearful thinking are all results of not taking care of ourselves or diminishing ourselves in service to others.

When I care for myself, I trust myself, express myself fully and authentically, love myself just as I am, and embrace my healing while also inviting others to do the same. What I am learning is that that there is plenty of room for caring for myself and caring for others. It doesn’t have to be one or the other – polarizing views of caring only for ourselves or caring only for others is a sure fire way to keep all of us on different paths with little ways of connecting with each other.

How would your life change if you found that glorious place inside yourself that has been crying out for acknowledgment? What polarizing views do you have about caring for yourself that have been limiting your healing or growth and/or the growth of others?

I’d love to hear from you!

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