Like most things, whether we practice self-care isn’t reeeeeeally about self-care. We all know that exercise, balanced eating, reading books and napping when our bodies ask us to is good for us and feels great. So what gets in the way of us making space for this blissful existence??

I have clients who talk about taking time to read or go for a walk regularly as if it’s A) a lovely thought, but a pipe dream akin to winning the lottery because there’s just too much else to do B) something that would cause their families (and possibly the whole world!) to completely fall apart since they wouldn’t be there to hold it all together C) just flat-out selfish!

For most of us, there’s a dash of one or all of those flavors that holds us back from putting our wants and needs first or even equal to other people and priorities.

Two of my favorite books that peel back the layers on what’s really going on are The Power of Full Engagement and I Used to Have a Handle on Life But It Broke…Six Power Solutions for Women with Too Much to Do (there’s good stuff in the latter for the guys too!).

Both books demonstrate that a fulfilling, joyful, engaged life is created when we stop trying to ‘keep up’, control, and push through, none of which are natural or productive. We become fully engaged (and best able to contribute to the rest of the world!) when we manage our energy first (an infinite resource) vs. our time (a finite resource).

Did you know that our bodies and brains follow a rhythm that’s based on a 90-120 minute cycle? That if we take mini-breaks in our attention, focus, and physical space based on that cycle that we greatly and immediately increase our energy, creativity, and productivity? It’s so logical, yet many of us still struggle with allowing ourselves to create the mini-breaks – let alone the big breaks!

Power Solutions:

• Micro-actions: Commit to something so small that it’s impossible not to do (read for just 1 minute before bed, get dressed to exercise – no exercise, just getting dressed, lay down for a 3 minute nap). Micro-actions move us from the wish, I want to do this, to the action, I can do this.
• Purpose: Spend some time getting in touch with what you really want – the more you care for yourself, the better able you can fulfill this purpose.
• Rituals: Discipline and will typically aren’t strong enough to overcome our underlying resistance to things like self-care. Create daily rituals that become as natural to you as brushing your teeth.

Take Action: What’s one micro-action you can take right now? What ritual can you commit to for a few days? (then another few days, then another, then another…!)