The IAM 100% Responsible Touchstone sets up an understanding of shifting from reacting, to responding,  to creating every aspect of our experience. This expectation is essential to creating powerful, reciprocal, healthy, learning, growing, healing, and co-creative collaborations.

I also know that there is a continuum of understanding from ‘I am a victim’ reacting to my life …  to ‘I am the 100% creator’ of absolutely every aspect of everything I experience. There are usually catches  at certain points: I am 100% responsible – except I could never be responsible for this or that.

These ‘catch points’ are critical in the process of evolving and transforming consciousness because they are indicators of the edges of our awareness. Playing with a shift from saying ‘this happened to me’ to ‘I created xyz’ is great as a way of exploring awareness of the power we bring to every situation. Facing and shifting these catch points is critical when overcoming a victim pattern or lack of success or any limitation you experience.

What are your catch points?  For example, look at the following series of statements:

• I created this article.
• I created great results with this project.
• I created trust in this relationship.
• I created this rude encounter.
• I created that green light.
• I created the rain storm today.
• I created my experience of financial lack.
• I created that driver slamming into me.

Where are your catch points? And how might moving beyond a current catch point help you experience the next level of success you know is right there waiting to come to you?

A while ago, several of the Associates of Karen Tax & Associates had a conversation about this 100% responsible continuum. The following are some notes from that conversation (December 17, 2007)…

U.S. Vice Admiral James Bond Stockdale

I cleaned out my office today & ran across an index card with the Stockdale Paradox on it. In case you’re not familiar with the Stockdale Paradox, Jim Collins describes it in his book, “Good to Great” as:

“Retain the faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties AND confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they may be.”

I highly recommend reading about Jim Stockdale in this wiki to learn more about his experience as a Vietnam POW & how he was able to survive when many others didn’t: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Stockdale.

Surviving a POW camp is in no way comparable to conducting a job search or developing your career, but there are important lessons we can learn from Jim Stockdale’s experience.

Got Faith?

Stockdale said he never doubted he would prevail and turn this horrific experience into a defining event in his life. He never lost faith.

I think about a time when I was in a job that felt like a prison to me. I felt victimized, like I had no choices. But that wasn’t true. I did have choices. I hired a coach and started working on a plan to not just get me out of there but to really envision a future for myself. I read somewhere that faith is passionate trust. I trusted myself to know what I really wanted, and I trusted God to show me the way.

The Brutal Facts

Stockdale says we must have the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of our current reality. There are two important points here – defining reality and discipline.

What is reality? I heard someone say, “If the dream is big enough, the facts don’t count.” Well, just like Stockdale, I believe the facts DO count.

There are certain facts about you that should be a factor in your career development. This is the brutal reality of YOU – the brilliant you, and it’s important that you know what it is and can sufficiently describe it to others.

And then there’s the other side of reality such as the people who show up on American Idol who can’t carry a tune and can’t understand why they aren’t chosen. Or the person who doesn’t want to learn anything new and thinks they can coast to retirement. Or the person who knows their performance has been lagging but thinks people won’t notice. This is our blind spot, and it is essential to make that spot as small as possible.

After you have a good idea of your reality, it’s time for discipline. Discipline might conjure up some images as being grounded or a drill sergeant commanding you to take 100 pushups in the freezing rain, but consider another definition of discipline: “self-control, training for improvement, and a systematic method.”  It seems to me that discipline is at the heart of leadership, so when it comes to determining our careers, it is essential to have a system in place to help us reach our dreams (strategies, intentions, goals). I hired a coach, increased my knowledge, and put a system in place to be more accountable so that I could expand my choices.

So, CAN be anything you want?  Maybe! Use these tips to guide you in deciding what you really, really want:

1. Take a look at the brutal reality of you. Who are you, and what are your strengths (skills, knowledge, abilities)? What is important to you? What would make you want to go work every day full of energy and passion?
2. Have the discipline to do what it takes to get you what you want. Invest in yourself by hiring a coach, going back to school, updating your resume, networking, etc. Stop doing those things that are getting in the way of what you want.
3. Have faith that you will prevail despite difficult circumstances.
4. Allow yourself to be surprised. Don’t wrap up your life so tightly that you miss some amazing detours off your path.

Do you have something else to add to this discussion? If so, I’d love to hear from you!

I have been wondering about you and your intentions for 2010, specifically how you’ll anchor in more deeply to being your best. Last year a client told me she had selected a word of the year to guide her throughout the year. She got the idea from Christine Kane (www.christinekane.com). Today I read a blog by Chris Brogan who chooses 3 words each year. Read his blog here: http://www.chrisbrogan.com/my-3-words-for-2010/#comment-27738450.

Last year my word was recriprocal, and it served me very well. Last week I began thinking about my word for 2010. I decided to let go of trying to figure it out and just trust God for my word. The strangest thing happened. I had a dream and the word, enamor, came to me in my sleep. I can’t remember the details, but when I woke up, the word was firmly in my mind.

Now, mind you, I have vivid, sometimes strange dreams, and I have never had a dream where a word was given to me. Also, as I get older, I find that my memory fails me when I try to remember certain words, but I easily recall this word throughout the day. Also, not surprisingly enamor is not part of my normal conversations.

So, although I don’t know if I will add more words to my word of the year, I am definitely keeping enamor. I look forward to playing with my word of the year, peeling it back like an onion, to help me be my best and help others do the same.

What do you think about choosing a word or words for 2010? Take a look at Christine’s video on her blog and/or read Chris Brogan’s blog post and see if choosing a word(s) is something you might want to participate in this year. And be sure to let me know. I’m planning to write about my word at least monthly if not more often throughout the year. I’d love to support you in your word choice.

Many blessings to you and those you love in 2010! May you feel love in a big way (enamor)…

In the tv special, Rudolph wasn’t allowed to play in the reindeer games because of his bright, shiny, red nose. It seemed that everywhere he looked, he just didn’t fit in. He and Hermey, the elf who wanted to be a dentist, didn’t fit in either and so they head out on their own. In one of their songs, they sing, “Why am I such a misfit? I am not just a nitwit … seems I don’t fit in.”

Boy oh boy, have I been in situations like Rudolph and Hermey. At times I felt like I was on the island of misfit toys. I knew I wasn’t a nitwit and neither were those other folks; it just wasn’t a good fit. That’s when I decided to be the leader of me and find/create a tribe that fits me. With a wonderful community of support, I charted my own course. If others want to laugh and tease me, so be it.

Seth Godin, in his book, Tribes, says what Karen & I have been saying all along – that everyone is a leader and we need you to lead – yourself first. I feel very strongly that when you determine what you want, you’ll be in a much better position to help others get what they want, and then you’ll create something extraordinary together as leaders.

Maybe you’ve been excluded from the proverbial “reindeer games,” or felt like you don’t fit in, or have encountered some monsters on your path. If you choose to, you can return back to your brilliant essence, shine brightly, and lead – with noses of all different colors, shapes and sizes. With a community cheering you on and supporting you, there’s no telling what you’ll accomplish – in your business, your organization,  your home, your school … everywhere!

What a thrill is was for me to read these words!

Our intention in developing the IAM movement is to transform the way we work and live so that everyone can be their best.  The basis of our work, the starting point of every product or service we offer, the point we revisit over and over again, is to bring people back to their “essential best.” We define “essential best” as the awake, infinite, abundant, expanding, conscious part of each of us.

The reason we landed with this approach for the IAM body of work can best be explained by the Einstein quote: “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” I’ve also seen this quote where ‘thinking’ was replaced with ‘consciousness.’ Another way of looking at what Einstein was saying: there is nothing more important to address than the evolution or transformation of our consciousness if we are going to work and live in ways that move beyond the problems or struggles we experience (what we like to call drama!)

What I know is that Conscious Capitalism requires individuals that see the transformation of their individual awareness as the first priority of anything they do, whether in business or their family life. This very personal process of evolving awareness is necessary for Conscious Capitalism to be different than traditional capitalism, otherwise we will be recreating the same problems that currently exist, as Einstein so poignantly described.

Our contribution to Conscious Capitalism includes use of the IAM Maps: the Essence Map (a map of consciousness), the Energy Map (a guide to dynamic self knowledge and understanding energy flow) and the Navigational Compass (a way of navigating through personal development and business development – which links individual internal conscious to external practical realities).

Some of the key aspects of IAM movement that contribute to the Conscious Capitalism movement:

• Start with individual consciousness first: Group, societal and environmental factors are important and change begins within. As within, so without. Individual consciousness is needed to embody evolving conscious leadership.
• Anchor in abundance based thinking: Scarcity thinking is the root of all conflict. Teaching and practicing “both/and” thinking is required for foundational and incremental conscious action that will benefit the whole, rather than being reductionist and benefiting a few. Abundance based thinking is essential if we are to experience mutual exchange of value and mutual benefit.
• Develop awareness of self as energy: Without the ability to separate our awareness of self  from physical realities, shifting to awareness of ’self as energy’,  it is impossible to participate in the transformation of capitalism to conscious forms. Until we shift our focus from drama to our essential best (energy self), alignment of our efforts will only create more drama, recreating old patterns, instead of aligning our values, strengths and passions to create new realities.
• Connect personal and business: Business can not become conscious if people do not bring their whole, evolving, conscious selves to work. Personal growth is required for business growth, and we need language, concepts and maps for making these connections concrete and practical.
• Connect to nature: Being reductionist and overly profit driven has caused people and businesses to become disconnected from the natural rhythms of life, living and indeed the environment. Ways to connect to nature are critical in remembering our wholeness, in re-establishing a healthy relationship with our planet and in generating financial prosperity.
• Address defense mechanisms: Until we can consciously and actively participate as a collective in healing from defensive patterns, we will not be able to fully participate in the sharing of information and resources. Full transparency and openness in our processes requires the ability to ‘love our way through’ our patterns of separation.

There are many aspects of both IAM and Conscious Capitalism that we have yet to discover. Yet if you look at these aspects here, we have a solid foundation to start with! The IAM body of work quickly and easily helps people work with the capabilities I have described here.

There are more aspects of IAM that contribute to Conscious Capitalism, and I’ll continue to add to this list. For those of you who are familiar with IAM, help me draw the connection between the work we are doing and what you would like to see Conscious Capitalism be. Let’s participate NOW in carrying both of these movements forward!

If you think about it, ‘too many choices’ would be a common challenge when connecting to the abundant, infinite space of our essential selves – what we like to call our essential best. When you break free of external limitations, when you realize that anything really is possible, the buffet table of options can be vast.

Except that the choices that are right for us are not infinite. What was interesting in this conversation was hearing how this person, like so many of us, was looking for ‘opportunities to be creative’. This is also a marker of transforming your work and life so that you can be your best: creativity becomes key. In looking for ”opportunities to be creative’, my friend identified what I like to call ‘the delay factor’: when creativity and joy is a destination, not an integral part of our choice making, a tool we can use to narrow our focus and prioritize our options.

Creating work and life that reflects our best selves happens when we start from creativity and joy:

• What brings you joy right now in this very moment?
• If your creativity was an energetic fuel that wants to move through you, what’s first thing you would do now?

When we tune into our joy and creativity now, we hone our ability to know what we want and make the choices that will create the future we really want. The wrong job or the poor business deal didn’t happen when things went wrong; it happened back in the beginning when we were unclear about our joy and creativity.

A friend of mine says that we vote every day. How true this is! We don’t create the results we experience in a singular event like an election. We create results every step of the way – in ways we participate in every day life.

The dark side of the ‘delay factor’ is the source of this pattern of thinking. Where does it come from? Many religious traditions have misinterpreted sacred teaching to go something like this: “if you are good, then, and only then, you’ll go to heaven.” I’m not interested in whether this idea is right or wrong. I AM interested in what this thinking does to people: “if you are good” is typically determined by some rule or dogma we are supposed to follow.

The thing I have an issue with is how these religions ideas have permeated society and created generations of us who have given our power to others who determine ‘what is good for us’. Heaven later instead of heaven now in the form of joy and creativity is the source of the delay factor. It is also the source of most oppression and persecution in the world.

So snapping out of patterns of delay become critical in several ways:

• It’s key narrowing focus and choice that leads to the right work and life for us: real success
• It contributes to a societal shift away from oppression to empowerment

Are you ready for joy and creativity now? Are you ready for heaven on earth here and now? Does it sound crazy to think about joy and heaven right now, this very instant? What ‘yea buts’ come to mind?

Curious about what you think …

Here’s to the Crazy Ones

Here’s to the crazy ones.
The misfits. The rebels.
The troublemakers. The round
pegs in the square holes – the
ones who see things differently.
They’re not fond of rules and
they have no respect for
the status quo. You can praise
them, disagree with them,
quote them, disbelieve them,
glorify or vilify them.
About the only thing that you
can’t do is ignore them.
Because they change things.

Cheers to us! Cheers to you! … All the crazy ones who are tired of the status quo!

Andrew has been searching for full-time work for 9 months. He is offered a job with XYZ company, but the pay is much lower than what he wants. After much consideration, Andrew takes the job and it isn’t long before he is making an impact.  After 3 months on the job, the GM is so impressed with Andrew’s ideas for improvement and performance, he offers him a promotion with a bonus.

Contrast Andrew with Brandy. Brandy has been out of work for 10 months. She was offered a full-time job but turned it down because the pay was too low. Brandy said she would “just wait it out.” Brandy is still waiting, and foreclosure is eminent.

Many times people get confused about taking a job that is not exactly what they want. I understand the dilemma. Some situations have a lot of complexity to them, so there is much to consider.

Here’s my take:

1. Talk the situation through with someone … be curious and open. You may not have considered all the options available to you. Getting help means you are strong, not weak.
2. No job comes with a lifetime guarantee or commitment – from either side (employer/employee). If the job doesn’t work out, you can look for something else. Now you’re in an even better position because you’ve likely learned a few things you can put in your “career toolkit.”
3. Every situation carries an element of risk to it. It’s important to weigh your options, but get some help if you have “decision constipation.”  There are numerous tools available to help with your decision
4. Make sure you understand as much as you possibly can about every job offer. What is the potential for advancement? Does the company invest in people development? What is the fiscal health of the company/organization? It pays to do your research.
5. Sometimes people are in a situation where they have to take a job they don’t really want – completely understandable these days. Just remember, there is a big difference between taking a job that pays the bills temporarily and denying your gifts to the world.

Let me know how I can help you. I want to know about your challenges and successes.

What struck me about our conversation was how people coming from very spiritual perspectives can be uncomfortable with language like ‘making things happen’ and practical topics like ‘making money.’ Similarly,  people coming from practical perspectives, especially financial, can eschew language such as ‘being as a way to create value’.

I believe now is the time for these two perspectives to come together.

Think about it: How often have you seen the practical entrepreneur who acts without regard for matters of the spirit and heart – that becomes a callous, shallow (and not very effective) doer? Or the spiritual devotee who reads, and reads books, but isn’t investing their beliefs into practical endeavors?

Doing without being, and vice versa, results in a life lived without courage and risk taking. Both extremes are hiding out in ’safe houses’ of tradition – either focused on ivory tower intellectual pursuits or seeking safety in the daily grind where doing is the caffeine of the high achiever.

How about doing that is inspired by our being? That is infused with our creative passions and sense of purpose?

How are you living your live by both being and doing?

He says, “The Law of Opposites works in perfect harmony with the Energy of Attraction. This principle states that no sooner will you call something into your reality than it’s exact opposite will also appear – and always first.

Opposites provide a context to experience what is desired by first experiencing what is undesired as a sign that you are on the right path toward your chosen objective.

The contrast provides a way to experience something for what it is. Without darkness, we would not recognize light. Without war we would not desire and choose peace.

Many people mistakenly see the appearance of the opposite of their desire as a block or obstacle that must be overcome and eliminated. They view the experience as a negative; a problem that is keeping them from having what they desire rather than path to success.

Since January I’ve let go of a number of projects, graduated some old clients, decluttered my home and my life to be more focused on the things I feel inspired to pursue. Through the process of “releasing and letting go” the first thing that has shown up is an “emptiness and quiet.” My emails have dropped off, my phone isn’t ringing off the hook, and things feel slower right now.

Instead of slipping into “victim consciousness” and worry, I’ve decided to enjoy the time to let my imagination and inspiration play with my book ideas and see what emerges!

How to appreciate the Law of Opposites?

Here are seven tips:

1. Bless the experience and say thank you.
2. Be willing to uncover any subconscious beliefs and programs potentially contributing to what you are experiencing.
   
3. Listen to your inner wisdom and guidance for the clarity and perspective. The Gift of Wisdom helps to discern the difference between being up against a wall or at the entrance to a doorway.
4. Allow your curiosity and wonder to guide you to a more joyful experience. Unleash your imagination to dream of possibilities and opportunities on the horizon.
5. Put your attention on all the gifts and blessings in your life. Gratitude is a powerfull attitude shifter to move from a state of constriction to expansion.
6. Remind yourself that the Law of Opposites exists to light the way to your desires.
7. Use your spiritual practices to stay connected to your heart and The Divine.

How do you see the Law of Opposites working in your life?